3P Random Reflections Blog

I know this may seem crazy, but there is no "world out there".

There is no spouse, partner, friend, or relative who causes me to have feelings of irritation or causes me to have feelings of appreciation.

There is no child who causes me to have feelings of impatience or causes me to have feelings of joy.

There is no coworker or boss who causes me to have feelings of futility or causes me to have feelings of admiration.

There is no circumstance in my life that causes me to have feelings of worry or causes me to have feelings of contentment.

There is no situation or person or event or religion or political ideology that causes me to have feelings of anger or causes me to have feelings of peace.

There is nothing in this world, whether unimaginably big or infinitesimally small that causes me to feel anything.

In fact, there is even no "me" (neither personality nor behaviours) that causes me to have feelings of frustration or causes me to have feelings of ease.

I have not ever, I do not now, and I never will experience anything that comes from the apparent world out there. I only ever have, I only do now, and I only ever will experience my own thinking. Period.

And so in all my efforts and good intentions to change the world out there or even to change myself, I am always mistakenly trying to change something that doesn't even exist, except in my personally made up experience of my moment to moment thinking, that in any brief moment could be seen and felt from an infinite number of perspectives, and in each brief moment is continually changing, despite my perceptions otherwise.

Instead, it occurs to me that when I'm not trying to change the world out there, but instead am just somehow continuing to realize at a deeper and deeper level, how I'm simply only ever playing with the fluidity of my thinking, there is no need to change the apparent "world out there". There is ONLY ever the moment to moment experience of seeing what thinking randomly appears in my head and what I end up innocently doing with it.

And so for this moment today at least, while I happen to be a little more "awake", I'm curious to see what the "world out there" will look like for me within my thinking for the rest of the day, and what I'll end up doing with it?

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