3P Random Reflections Blog

When my husband dropped me off at the homeless shelter today for the weekly Stinking Thinking Hangout, it wasn't until I arrived in the classroom on the 4th floor that I realized I didn't have my purse with me... I had accidentally left it at home. I had a slight moment of feeling panic at first, but it dropped relatively quickly. I was pretty confident that my purse was sitting safely at home, so I just needed to figure out how to manage without it.

Unfortunately, my husband was on his way to work so he wouldn't be able to help. Also, my only two known contacts at the shelter were not there. I had no money or bus tickets to get me back home, no cell phone to contact someone for help, no good way to do the 90 minute walk home since I wasn't dressed well enough for spending that time in -20 degree temperatures, and no key to get back into the house once I got home.

I eventually got everything sorted out, after asking 4 different strangers for help... one who couldn't help me, one who could help me but decided not to because they felt they couldn't trust me, one who needed to know my story because I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be, and another who was able to and did help me. I also ended up going into a donut shop to warm up and to "steal" some napkins for my winter-cold runny nose, and I borrowed an item from an unknowing neighbour who wasn't home, and who I actually don't even know. All in all, I spent about 30 minutes in the cold trying to get into the house, enough time for my bottle of water to become frozen slush, and my toes to start seriously complaining.

What was most interesting, was being able to "watch" it all happen with the eyes of an impartial observer... to see the steady stream of ideas and thoughts and subsequent feelings that popped into my head... what actions to do next, the variety of unexpected roadblocks that required new actions to be taken, and all the range of secure and insecure thoughts that came up during the process of getting home and getting into the house (panic, humour, embarrassment, appreciation, humility, frustration, fear, discomfort, etc.).

It also makes me wonder how different this experience would have felt without the understanding that every feeling I was having, had absolutely nothing to do with my circumstances and was coming entirely from whatever was the random stream of thinking/feeling that happened to be popping into my head?

And it's not like I haven't gotten through tons of big and little crises in my life before, but how lucky I am these days to be able to navigate through any event or circumstance with a much clearer understanding of what's creating my experience of it, and more awareness of the quiet whisper of wisdom in my ear... "No worries, you'll figure out, you'll be perfectly fine no matter what happens, and isn't this all very funny?"

Overview