Rick's Reflections Blog

It occurred about a year after I had become aware...

I had noticed a great change in my overall happiness.
I had become much more grateful for things in my life.
I had much less insecure thought.
I looked forward to new experiences.
So here I was, generally in a state of bliss.

Then a very strange and unexpected thing happened.
I started having memories of things from the past.
Ghosts of actions long gone and deceased.
Things that I had done that were not my best moments.
When they occurred, filed into the "stuff happens" category.

Times of ego, fear and insecurity causing poor behaviour.
Times of misplaced pride and arrogance.
Broken relationships, pain given and taken.
Family and Friends ignored and forgotten.
Goals not achieved due to sloth and procrastination.

As a positive person I just put them behind me and moved on.
Now... at a time in my life when I was feeling so happy.
These dealt with issues dared to raise their ugly heads.
At first I was really taken back by it all.
"Why are you showing up now, I already dealt with you."
I was a survivor, and got through.

Then I realized something really important.
I never really felt the pain of my past mistakes before.
Being positive and being a survivor meant burying the event.
Taking a negative situations and putting positive on top of it.
Taking bad behaviours and moving on without learning.

So the reason the memories came back at this time...

I was ready, not only to recognize them for what they were.
To really feel them for the first time and acknowledge them.
Not to beat myself up for things I'd done.
To recognize the lessons that came with each step.
This is all part of the long road on the journey.

So what about all those past occurrences...
They have got me to where I am today.
I could not change any experience and still be me.
And I am pretty happy with me these days.
I am not any where near perfect.

But I am as good as I need to be.
Exactly where I am suppose to be on my journey.
No matter what my experience is, I can face it.
Everything I need is within me.
Love is the answer to everything.

So the past may come back as memories…
Maybe they are coming back for a reason.
Maybe they are asking to take another look at them.
Maybe now is the time to feel them and release them.
Maybe now is the time to be free from the past.

Live in Love and Peace
Rick Syposh💖🙏

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